Don't Fear Authentic Relationships

July 7, 2009
By

“But if we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other. Then the blood of Jesus, God’s Son, cleanses us from every sin. If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:7-8 NCV).

Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface-level chit-chat. It’s genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level sharing.

It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives. They share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer.

Authenticity is the exact opposite of what you find in many churches. Instead of an atmosphere of honesty and humility, there is pretending, role-playing, politicking, and superficial politeness, but shallow conversation.

People wear masks, keep their guard up, and act as if everything is rosy in their lives. These attitudes are the death of real friendship.

It’s only as we become open about our lives that we experience authentic fellowship. The Bible says, “If we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other . . . If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves” (1 John 1:7-8 NCV).

The world thinks intimacy occurs in the dark, but God says it happens in the light. We tend to use darkness to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws. But in the light, we bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are.

Of course, being authentic requires both courage and humility. It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection, and being hurt again.

Why would anyone take such a risk?

Because it’s the only way to grow spiritually and be emotionally healthy. The Bible says, “Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed” (James 5:16 MSG).

by Rick Warren

  • Anonymous

    This is a particularly good blog to read and understand and practice. We sometimes don’t lay things on the table about how we feel and pretend everything is alright.

    I think the deepest challege for recovery is to make an honest and even candid assesment of the things that trouble us. I hope many read this blog and really listen and take it seriously.

    Thank for the wonderful blog and may it help many. Keep up the good word and work…

    Passerby

  • blue

    Yeah, I have this problem too, I pretend everything is okay and it sure isn’t. But then I struggle with “what’s the use of complaining” just fake happy and get on with it. Life is tough sometimes.

  • Patti

    This is the reason no one really truly has a true friend is because no one can take the truths and no one can really support the needs of another person….Blue you and I both know from experience that what most people want is ‘pretend’ or make believe…that way it doesn’t cause anyone any trouble…true friendships or relationships in Christ involve time and love and effort and most people prefer to pretend…as it stands today I have one true friend in christ…..Oh I have many shallow or surface friendships but since none of them care to invest in me…I’ve had to stop investing in them in order to keep my health…but I have one true friend other than Christ…and she is genuine…she gives to me what I need and want from a friendship and I give to her what she needs from a friendship and there isn’t anything lacking because we both have invested time and energy and love into the relationship…

    Example…if a person is honest and shares what they want or need or what they are hurting over whether it be spiritually, physcally or emotionally…they get rebuffed or refused or looked down upon or we get told they are too busy to give the person what they need…..so we learn to NOT share our needs…we learn that we have to put on masks and pretend that things are wonderful….

    Those who try to be honest and sincere sometimes get ignored or shunned or told they need to NOT share…they may not be told that right outright but they are told that by actions…and actions speaks way louder than words sometimes….

    Faking things only compounds the lack of Christian fellowship and the Christian Community just like Rick Warren says.

    I’m 68 years old and I’ve seen this apathy develope within the Christian realm over the past many years…people are too busy to really care and so if a person were to try to be honest or show a need…it would go unheeded…

  • Anonymous

    There’s no sin in opening a safe tackful conversation and with love tell them that we disagree with them. And I think that our love has more powerful convicing power than all our right reasonings…

    The fact of the matter of the matter is that nobody has ever rejected a loving helping hand when their life has hit a stone and run into a ditch…

    It takes real character to love someone who disagrees with us and real wisdom to give them what they a really looking for- a relationship who can really listen to them for a moment of sorrow…

    passerby

  • http://www.christianbooksbibles.com Heather

    I suppose this is why Jesus is our only “true” friend, the One that sticks closer than a brother. With a gazillion superficial relationships, He is still the only One I trust with everything.

  • Anonymous

    When we begin to see Jesus this way in how ‘authentic’ his way is with us, then we are in threshold of real Christianity. The best commendation a Christian can receive is to be be told ‘…you’re for real…”

    Passerby





About the author:

Hi, my name is Heather Manning and I am the Customer Care Manager for ChristianBooksBibles.com. I am the mother to 5 children, two grown daughters, and three more blessings under 7 yrs old! I love working for this company because I get to talk to Christian brothers and sisters every single day and that is simply awesome.

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